Overcoming growth pains

I've pretty much always considered myself a passive-aggressive person. Maybe it's the woman in me. Or maybe I really am just a bitch, but I've never really had the guts to really open up about being hurt or confused or just really wanting to get to the heart of an issue. But even at nearly 30, I have an opportunity to change that. And I made a start, today.

This week has been a whirlwind. I got a taste of the old days last Saturday while tailgating with my 'old' girls crowd, which always gets me a little sad that those days are few and far between. Then there's all the work for a new account at work, which is hard for me in that I have confidence issues going into new areas. And I had three client presentations...a terrible internal creative review session...Oh, and don't forget the drama of hearing that two extended-family members were diagnosed with the dreaded H1N1 this week. Needless to say, I'm a little sensitive and very high strung.

Needless to say, I've done my share of complaining this week and needed some clarity.

And it came this morning around 8:30. A man I work with stopped in and just starting telling me about his week. About his frustrations and drama. About what he felt he needed to change. As he spoke, I began to see clearer. I realized that while I was feeling like he had failed me earlier in the week, he was actually just trying to figure out some things. He was feeling just as lost as I was. So to keep with the sharing atmosphere, I began expressing how I felt about him and his ideas and where he felt he needed to change.

I was completely honest and didn't sugar-coat things. I actually apologized for feeling anger toward him earlier in the week as it shouldn't have been directed his way. It was one of those great conversations where you realize you're not alone and that it's okay to feel angry or disappointed as long as you express it to that person instead of others who don't really understand the situation.

I feel lighter today. And as tired and drained as I am, I'm also feeling pretty inspired and energized by the whole thing. Maybe this moment of growth will open a whole new side of positivity in me so that I can spread the wealth instead of wallowing in self-pity.