Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Defining 'til death'

As I've mentioned before, my husband and I have been married for five years. The first year was super-rocky for several reasons. First, we didn't live together before we got married. And, surprise, I got pregnant in our third month of marriage. I became a step mom. Oh, and did I mention that we bought a house three weeks before our wedding? Anyway, it was rough.

I've always told my friends and family that I believed the first year would be our hardest. And in many ways it was. I had a lot of growing up to do that year. I had to re-assign my priorities. And I had to learn how to truly share.

Today, we still have that house. We've added another baby to the family. My step-daughter is nearing 17 and seeing her is almost impossible. I've added a few side jobs to my resume. And my husband has finally decided to figure out what it is he's supposed to be doing with his life. Needless to say, our fifth year is turning out to be pretty darn challenging.

The good news is that when we sit down and finally focus on us, there's still that youthful, genuine love for one another. If I look hard enough, I can see those two people we were five years ago. And sometimes it's exactly what I need to remind myself that all of this is worth it. That this little life we've created is our own version of the American Dream. And I'm suddenly re-energized to fight like hell to hold on to it.

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