My family and I just returned from our second family vacation this summer. We spent four days with my side of the family at a remote reservoir in Northwestern Nebraska. It took the entire drive out there to start to unwind and let my mind wander. I think it was the sandhills...with random trees and houses and hay piles sporatically placed that got me thinking about the big picture.
You know, the 'what's this really all mean' thought we all have from time to time. I always believed that I belonged in a big city but to be honest, I haven't felt more at home and at peace with myself than I did in this desolate place. Where the people didn't care what you wear or what image you portray or how much money you make. It was truly beautiful and I envied each and every one of them.
So now I really am sad to be back. Sad to be feeling the stress of a full time, corporate America job. The stress of raising a family and trying to make a marriage work peacefully. And I'm really wondering where my place is and what I should be doing. To be honest, I'm really confused and I'm not sure I'm all that happy. But how do you know how green the grass is on the other side if you're too afraid that the pasture you're in now is as good as it gets?
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wow - so maybe it's a 'being 29' thing. I feel the EXACT same way! The thing is though is that I always thought the big city would be enchanting and so much to do. So my husband and I took the plunge and quit our jobs, moved to Phoenix and started over. I thought the grass is greener over here in the big city. Well, living in a big city is great. There is so much to do. But I have learned that a big city is much like a small town. You still have your little neighborhoods, clique's, etc. I probably drive within a 10 miles radius everyday. I live in a city of 6 million people and I inhabit an area the size of the town I grew up in...700 people.
ReplyDeleteSo now, I am yearning to go back home to Nebraska to the quiet life with my family. My husband always says, you always want something more. He's right. I'm praying everyday to just live in the moment and be happy with what I have.
My best friend made me print out a sign and hang it up that says 'you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life.'