Expectations

I've been involved in several conversations lately where the term expectations has seemed to become a major topic. Expectations at work, in our relationships, even from strangers.

I'd like to believe I have high expectations of all of the above. I would like to believe that everyone I work with cares as much as I do. I hope that my spouse and relatives are considerate of others and have some sense of wanting to help others and do what's right and fair. And I am really trying to hold onto the idea that even strangers are decent people and appreciate a helping hand from time to time.

But the truth is, as much as I hate to even voice it, no one really cares. I think it's once again a case of everyone being so caught up in their own agendas that we fail to recognize an opportunity to show common courtesy. A prime example is that one night last week, I was meeting my husband and children at a local pizza place. It was raining and my son was hauling around something like 20 paper airplanes...all of which he insisted go home with us. So I was frantically trying to put them in the car before going into the pizza joint when a few escaped me and blew across the parking lot. I scurried around in the rain, saved the planet from a few more loose pieces of trash and made it to the door in time to hold it open for an older woman who witnessed the whole thing. I smiled, embarrassed that she had just watched me race around in the rain in 3 inch heels. And she didn't thank me for holding the door. In fact, she seemed annoyed that I was standing in her way.

So much for having expectations.

But on a deeper level, I often question my expectations, or lack there of in my marriage. It's been pointed out to me that I often just continue to clean, cook and manage my household without much help. And instead of fighting it, I generally just take it because it's easier than dealing with it. I had never really considered that as lowering or dissolving any expectations I had, however, now I question whether or not I'm really living what I preach. And if I'm not, then does that make me weak or a team player?

There seems to be an extremely fine line when it comes to expectations and just plain old common courtesy. And the older I get, the more confused I am about which is which.