Fast forward to January.

Wow. Not only has it been forever since I've blogged, but my mindset has changed a great deal as well. The last six weeks of my former life were hard. But I don't think I cried as much (until the night before I moved). I was more filled with anxiousness about the unknown. Would I be working? Would my kids make friends? Would my relationship with my husband move in the right direction?... the list could go on for miles.

We're a month into it and I'm still not sure I have the answers. But I've slowed down. I'm giving 'take one thing at a time' a shot. And so far, I'm enjoying most of it. My biggest unknown at this point is my job. I'm working 30 hours a week for the same agency I was at. It's going fairly well but I'm having a hard time believing that it'll last a long time. I also made a connection for some freelance writing work, still in the marketing realm. But I'm haunted by the notion that this is a real opportunity to start over. Reinvent myself.

It's true that I've always been passionate about advertising and about writing. But it does feel very different when you're not surrounded by people driven by the same thing. And the bigger picture is that I'm not making a real difference here. And I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

Maybe I have some hidden talent that I could love and make other people happy by doing it. Maybe I should be spending even more time being a mother and a wife. And Lord knows my husband could use some help with the business side of his new endeavor.

Who knows. Again, it's only been a month. I need to sip my coffee, watch the snow melt outside, and just appreciate this moment. What I'm learning is that humans (or Americans) are wired to want more. And whether that means more money, more fame, more respect...I can't escape it. And yet, I'm ashamed of it. Even here where no one knows me, let alone cares what I'm up to.