Relax...seriously

My husband and I just returned from our five-years belated honeymoon in Jamaica. My expectations going in were that we'd find all this time to talk and really re-connect and become those two people we were before we got married. I thought I'd catch up on all this sleep; start my book; etc.

The reality was completely different, but as good if not better. I had no idea that I'd be able to shut my mind off from work, my freelance stuff, my teaching gig, my domestic responsibilities...and I did. I honestly only thought about where we would choose to hang out on the beach or where we would eat at the next meal. (and the regular re-application of sun screen)

While my kids mean the world to me, I felt myself not really missing them but experiencing things I knew they would appreciate if they had been there. I was sad to leave knowing that my mind needed to shift back to our day-to-day life. But two days into our 'old' life, I still have a little Jamaica in me. I still feel calmer and a little less jumpy. I feel good about our life but one truth became very obvious: we do it to ourselves.

Seriously, the stress and this feeling that I have to accomplish so much by a certain age and please so many people. It's crazy. It's unrealistic. And it's definitely not satisfying. I'm not saying that I'm going to care less and work less but I think when the time comes I may be more willing to let go; I may be more easily persuaded to let people help (or even ask for help); and I may feel less alone. One thing is for certain, I'm going to fight like hell to remind myself of this little life lesson and hope that it makes a permanent difference in my life.