Defining support.

Growing up, I was considered the listener. The friend who would listen and provide advice or just support...whatever made the most sense. I always believed that I was a great listener. But I'm beginning to have my doubts.

My husband had a rough day yesterday. And for the first time in a long time, he wanted to talk about it. And I was his listener. But as his story unfolded, I found myself reacting outwardly. I muttered under my breath; I made faces; and I didn't wait for him to ask for my opinion.

Eventually, he reminded me that we happen to share the same opinion and hearing me spout off is like going through all of his thoughts again...which ultimately reminded me that what he needed was a true listener. A true support system.

I sat silently for awhile and began to really listen. In doing so, I saw the hurt and frustration and sadness he was feeling. It made me hurt for him, and I began to realize that my opinion was void of any true feeling. It was more about what's right based on principal and not on emotion. I took the humanity out of it. And that's exactly what he didn't need.

By the end of the conversation and even today, I'm not feeling anger. I'm not looking for justice. I just want to provide some peace to my husband. And in trying to find a way to lend him some support, I feel like my hands are tied.

Maybe it's because the definition of support has become based on a physical act and not an emotional one. It's so much easier to take ourselves out of the equation and become doers rather than just listen and offer a hug or offer our loved ones some space and time to heal.

Needless to say, this whole situation has got me thinking of adding "Become a better support system" to my resolutions.

Here and gone.

I just realized today that I haven't written since the big day. I'm officially 30 and quite honestly my life has seemed to be so crazy that I haven't had time to dwell...

The truth is, I'm comfortable. I'm feeling pretty good about things right now and I feel like I have a clearer vision for what I want. I have a lot of learning to do and with help from the people I surround myself with, I hope to experience another 30 years of successes, failures, half-wins and whatever lies ahead.